Until Eternity
by Kisses on the Bottom
Summary: Natara sees how the people dearest to her grieve her death.


**Almost done with the new chapter of "Feel the Beat." That update is coming this week, I promise. I just need to do the finishing scene. Then I'll work on You're My Paradise and post the new chapter of that as well. But in the meantime, I wanted to post this. I got inspired for it from an old story on the Beatles fanfiction archive. It's a bit heartfelt—and I got a little sad while writing it. **

**One-shot Title: **"Until Eternity"

**Pairing: **Mal/Natara, Amy/Kai, implied Amy/Ken

**Warnings: **T because of slight religious references and language.

**Word count: **1,889

* * *

><p>She notices a figure stepping through a large, swirling wall of mist.<p>

It's large—a bit bulky, in fact—but muscular.

Then she hears the voice that belongs to it.

"Natara."

She closes her eyes and clenches her teeth gently. She knows who it is.

"_Ken…"_ she exhales and turns around to face her old friend, who wears a slightly warm smile. His arms are crossed, but not in an angry or demeaning way. His personality was never like that.

"Nat, why are you here?" His smile is sad.

She walks up to her old friend and gives him a tight hug, feeling tears as they fill the brim of her eyes and rest in her lashes. "Cancer…" she sighs and shakes her head gently, as if she can't believe it herself, "breast cancer. I didn't know I had it until the doctor diagnosed me with stage four."

Ken sighs and pats her back. "I'm sorry, Nat."

She shrugs and squeezes his hand gently. His skin is warm and soft, as well as shiny and smooth. "It's alright. It's Mal and George that I'm worried about," she covers up her intense worries.

Ken can only shake his head sadly. "Well, I'm happy to see you, Natara, but not in this way. I'm sorry for everything that happened to you."

Natara simply sighs. "It's alright, really. How are you?"

Her old friend chuckles. "I've been here for years, Natara. I've gotten used to it. I also can see that Amy misses me…but I'm glad she finally settled down and started a family. Malia's a beautiful baby, and Kai's a lucky guy."

Natara nods. "She is. Amy still misses you, though…she's told me. She and Kai talk about it all the time, but Lia doesn't know."

"Lia," Ken sighs and gently raises an eyebrow. "Amy always told me she wanted to have a baby named Lia. I'm so happy that she finally got the chance to."

Natara squeezes his hand again and swallows hard. "You've seen George, right?"

Nodding, Ken smiles. "He's a handsome kid; you and Mal did a good job with him. He's got his daddy's eyes."

Hearing this makes Natara's eyes begin to water again. She knows that she won't see George again for a long, long time. "Thank you," she sighs and rests her chin in her palms, "but I miss him so much."

Ken gently pats his old colleague's back. "I know you do. But you can watch him grow up, you know."

Natara's eyes stop watering. "I…I can?"

"You can."

"How?" she wonders aloud, desperately grabbing the thin material of Ken's white shirt. "How can I see my baby boy?"

Ken just smiles and pushes aside a giant cloud of mist and fog, revealing an image of a five year-old boy. He's wearing a blue polo shirt and holds a green truck in his hands. There's no doubt that he has large, cerulean eyes with a twinge of mystery and passion to them.

Natara's heart stops. She reaches out to touch the image, but her hand is engulfed in mist again. "Georgie…" she pleadingly sighs and watches as her son walks up to his father and places the truck into his large hands.

"Mommy got me this truck," George sighs and sits on the floor. "She got it for my third birthday. It's my favoritest toy in the whole world."

Natara can't breathe. She sees Mal stroke his son's cheek. "Georgie," his voice is strained with tears, "do you miss Mommy?"

George nods and brushes tiny tears from his eyes. "Mhmm."

Mal reaches out and places his son onto his lap, quickly kissing his cheek. "I do too…" he exhales, "I miss her more than anything else…"

The mist swirls again and suddenly Natara is crying. She can't feel her tears sliding down her soft cheeks, though. All she can feel is the tightness in her throat as she tries to swallow it down.

Ken's face wears a sad smile.

Natara reaches out and sobs into her old coworker's chest. "George…" she cries.

Ken nods. He knows the feeling. "It's been a few days since your passing. They're grieving."

Natara brushes away her tears. "How about the rest of the SFPD?"

"Let's take a look," is the only answer Ken can offer.

He pushes aside the fog again and an image of Kai and Amy is present. They're both silently sitting around three year-old Malia, who is spooning applesauce into her mouth, unaware of the dense situation around her.

"I miss Natara…" Amy swallows hard. "She was my best friend. She was the one who comforted me and got me back on my feet after his death, along with you. And now she's gone."

Kai sadly squeezes his wife's hand. "I know."

"She didn't deserve this," Amy desperately runs her fingers through her hair, which she outgrew after Ken's passing. It lingers a bit past her shoulders now, and no longer has the spiky look to it. She seems more like a mother now. "She didn't deserve _any _of this! It was _me _who should have gotten sick instead of her."

Kai sighs. "Amy, don't say that."

"I _can't _stop saying it, Kai!" Now, Amy is crying. "I want it to be _me _that died instead of her."

Kai doesn't find the right words to say to his wife. He simply hugs her tightly and helps her silence her sobs as a curious Malia spoons another glob of applesauce into her mouth.

Natara sighs. She finds herself numb and unable to cry.

"I'm sorry, Natara," Ken suddenly speaks. "She's right. You didn't deserve this."

This confuses her. "You didn't deserve to die either, Ken!" she splutters. "Kolo was the only one who should've fallen out of that building. Not you!"

Ken knows that Natara herself is grieving. "I know, Nat. I know. You just have to get used to it, though. It's going to be like this until eternity."

"But eternity gets better, doesn't it?" Natara pleads for a good answer. "It _has _to! Mal will join us in years to come, right? And then Kai and Amy and George and Malia and Captain and Neha and Mom and Dad and…and _everyone!" _

Ken just sadly smiles. "But it'll be awhile until they get here. For now, you have to accept the facts and enjoy your time here."

Natara shakes her head wildly. "But I _can't, _Ken! I can't. I just _can't. _I miss Mal and Kai and Amy, and most of all, I miss George. He's my son, dammit! I want to see him…I want to hold him close and tell him stories and sing him songs and tuck him into bed and…"

She finds herself unable to speak anymore. She's out of breath.

Ken shakes his head. "It'll come, Natara. Just wait, alright?"

Natara swallows hard and changes the subject, as she is becoming more and more confused by it as time goes on. "H—how did Captain and Blaise cope?" she wonders.

Ken sighs. "Captain's upset. She's placed your picture in the SFPD Hall of Fame. It's right next to my portrait."

"And Blaise?"

"She's sad, too," Ken informs, "she lost a friend, you know. I know you two became close after I died."

Natara nods. "We did."

And then there's silence. Nothing can be heard but the gentle wisps of cool wind that move the fog in swirls and brilliantly portray the sun ahead of them. _It's beautiful here, _Natara decides after a long moment. _I can see why people say 'at least he/she is in a better place' at funerals. _

Running her fingers through the clouds beneath her, Natara slowly breathes in. The air smells sweet and comforting, and Ken's presence here makes it even better. _It's just like old times, _she thinks. _Except Ken and I are both dead and everyone else is sad. I wonder if they'd be happier if they knew we're in a much, much better place. There are no evil or bad intents here. No Brian Resler, Hunters, Herman Hartnell, Wendy Wilcox, or countless other criminals._

It's paradise. "I wish I could tell him," Natara breaks the silence. "Mal, I mean. I need him to know that I'm in a better place, so he and Georgie will quit worrying."

Ken nods; he understands. "You can tell him, Natara."

Natara can't stop a smile from coming. _Is there anything that I __**can't**__ do here?_ she thinks. "How?"

Ken leans over and whispers it into her ear, as if it's forbidden to speak loudly. His warm breath on Natara's neck causes chills to run down her body—wait, does she even have a body? "Dreams," he comfortingly says. "You can talk to him in his dreams."

* * *

><p>Suddenly, Natara's in Mal's room. She sees him sleeping on his side of the queen bed. George occupies Natara's side, clutching onto Mal as he softly dreams. She gently walks over to the bed.<p>

"Mal," she whispers, not wanting to wake him up, even though he can't see or hear her. All he can do is dream about her, dream of how she's sitting on the bedpost as a spirit. "Mal, I'm alright."

George rolls over and holds onto his pillow tightly as a soft snore escapes his lips. _"Mmm..."_ he sighs, _"...mmmommy."_

_It's working_, Natara thinks. _It's working, I'm in both of their dreams! Ken was right!_

She keeps reassuring them. "Mal...George...I'm in a better place. Don't worry about me. I'm happy where I am; it's beautiful here. Just keep holding on, and I'll see you in a matter of years, alright? Mal, keep working to support our son. George, do well in school and don't let Mommy down."

She's said all that she needs to say. She sees Mal stirring a little. "Natara..." he breathes in his sleep. "I love you..." She walks over to him and plants a kiss on his lips, even though she knows he can't physically feel it.

George stirs as well. "Mommy..." Natara leans over and caresses his cheek. "It's ok, Georgie...Mommy's here. She's in heaven, but she'll be here in this beautiful place, waiting for you in years to come, okay?"

George only breathes softly as his mother gently whispers: "She'll be here for a long time, so live your life before you get here..."

Natara looks up and sees Ken hovering above her. "C'mon, Nat," he smiles, "let 'em finish dreaming."

Natara swallows hard and kisses her son's cheeks before saying: "She'll be here until eternity."

Then she and Ken leave.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed that...it was supposed to be a bit angsty, but if I failed at that, I'm sorry. There's a religious message somewhat hidden, but I just thought it'd be heartwarming to let Natara see the way people grieve her death.<strong> **Reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.**


End file.
